July 1, 2011

DOUBLE-HEADER FRIDAY: Adventures in Sunless Tan!

Posted by Ethne~

Well, if you’ve seen me in pictures here or in real life (lucky you!), you’ll know that I have quite fair skin.  What does this mean?  It means I get angry red sunburns in 10 seconds out in the summer sun.  Ridiculous. 


Look at my legs!  Horror!
Purple People-Eaters block a kick.

So, that means I slather myself constantly in sunscreen to protect myself, the ramification being that I remain white as a ghost the whole year round.  My sis Whit and I call our ‘condition’ “Purple People Eaters”.  I know it was a term for the kick-butt MN Vikings of the '60's and ‘70’s.  Our interpretation is that our legs are so glaringly white that you can see the blue veins underneath, hence the purple.  It makes no sense, but there it is.

I don’t complain entirely.  I know that protecting my skin from the sun’s rays will help with the signs of aging later on, though I counter that argument with my own: the damage was already done in childhood/high school/college.  And though I’ll never admit it (oh wait…), you can maybe possibly potentially see the start of crow’s feet near my eyes.  Laugh lines, Friends, laugh lines.  (True dat when your best friend is Lori!  As an example, I laughed until I was wiping away the tears when I saw the picture Lori put on the double-chin post of her on the Wild Thing roller coaster.)


Sorry, Lor, I just had to put it in again.

So, I quote one of Lori’s and my bff’s, Special Guest Steph: “it’s called sunless tanner, dude.”  In advance of a few special events this summer (hello, GT’11 and 2 weddings!), I figured the time was ripe to practice my sunless tan application.

Special Guest Whit (Whit’s Tips) works at Ulta Cosmetics in Atlanta, and she suggested I try the Neutrogena Mist spray tan.  I HAD A COUPON TOO!  It looked promising, if only I had used my brain a little bit.

I followed the instructions to a T – I sprayed my legs and arms with the nozzle six inches away from my skin.  I did not rub it in, since it didn’t say I needed to, and I let it dry.  When I woke up the next morning, it was streak city!  The color was good, but it looked like I had skid marks all up and down my arms and legs.  Turns out, I didn’t get the full coverage I thought.


Crikey!
It's like ying and yang

I’ll try it again, probably tonight so I’ve got some tan for the 4th of July.  This time, though, I’ll rub it around once sprayed on so it is a bit more even.  I’ll let you know!


It's almost like I'm wearing toeless pantyhose
It's a purple people eater dipped in poo

In the meantime, feel free to laugh at my expense. 


2 comments:

Roxanne said...

I used the same exact spray and had the same exact problem. I read online how to remove the streaks: mixture of 2 to 1 lemon juice to rubbing alcohol. Scrub on legs and rinse. Worked like a charm. I even had some color remaining but the streaks were much less noticeable.

Matt Hardy said...

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Spray Tan in NYC