November 14, 2013

Ho-Ho-Ho Pintester Movement: the kids can never see this.


Posted by Ethne~

NOTE: THIS POST IS NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY.  YOU’RE WELCOME.

Go see Pintester and all the genius Pintestes' holiday ornaments here - comments appreciated!

Dudes, I am a rubbish Pinteste.  Actually, I’m an awesome Pinteste, I’m just a rubbish Christmas crafter this year.

I searched Pinterest high and low for a Christmas ornament to make for this challenge.  Lori even pinned stuff for me.  Now that I am recovered from falling down the stairs (I don’t think I told you guys about that, but I did tell Pintester) I pretty much had no excuse but to try something.

I do love Christmas.  But Pinterest provided no inspiration.  I found no ornaments that I wanted to make. I was adrift.

I went to Target this week, figuring I could buy an ornament to gussy up.  Yeah, that didn’t happen either.  But a lightbulb went off.  LITERALLY.  A Phillips brand LED miniature light-up chandelier.

What to do?  Now I was Pinspired.  AS IT SO HAPPENS, the chandelier is perfectly scaled to elf-size.  And Barbie-size.

So my naughty little mind turned this lovely challenge of making a delightful Christmas ornament into an opportunity to set up a naughty Elf on the Shelf scene with our elf, Lyle, Barbie and the chandelier ornament.  And who hasn’t seen the twenty million Elf on the Shelf pins on Pinterest?  The naughty ones inspired meOh, and the Bloggess’ elf stabbed her couch last year in case you missed that.

Just because you can never go too far for the Pintester, I thought that the Lyle-Barbie-chandelier scene should be set to the Red Room of Pain a la 50 Shades of Grey.  Because it’s been on my mind lately a few times.

This led to the following convo with Shaun tonight:

Me: I have to figure out some red fabric for the backdrop of the scene for Lyle and Barbie.  Do you still have that red satin robe you wore for Halloween that one year?

Shaun: I have no idea.  I know, you should have Barbie tied upside-down and naked from the chandelier and Lyle’s face can be in her crotch.

Me: No, that’s too far.  Lyle is our daughters’ Christmas spirit guide, he can’t be muff diving Barbie.

Shaun: Lyle is not their spiritual guide.  That’s ridiculous.  You could do one of him doing 50 Shades and one of him muff diving Barbie.

Me: No muff diving.

Later, I realized that my handcuff necklace (that Lori and I got for all of us on girls trip, a la Nancy Grace) is a PERFECT FIT for Barbie’s wrists.  Shaun told me to go away at that point.  Gladly, my children will never know about this exploitation of their spiritual Christmas guide.  He’ll be out for real visits in a few weeks.

So, my friends, here is my ‘Who’s a Ho-Ho-Ho’ Pintester Movement submission.

Ms. Steele, you dirty girl.

You can see the ornament here, which I think I technically have to show since that's what this challenge is SUPPOSED to be. 

9 comments:

Ebemi said...

ROFL. You are very twisted and I can appreciate that.

Jen said...

If this was a contest you would win.

Elizabeth said...

Oh man. This is absolutely amazing. I can definitely see myself doing this when I have kids and have one of those creeptastic elves in my home.

Eleni said...

LOL I absolutely love this!

Jodee Rose said...

That is hilarious! Love it!

Heather Herrington said...

I think you just won The Internet.

Katrina said...

This is great!! I was laughing so hard I cried!

Sonja Foust said...

Baha! Too great!

Liana Weitz said...

I just died laughing... that is by far the funniest "ornament" I've ever seen... also super creative.. :D